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Juicing | Day 15 (Weigh In Week 2)

7:31 am

I haven’t stepped on the scale yet today. I’m a little nervous. Earlier weigh-ins have showed minimal losses and then of course last night I strayed from the plan.

Interestingly enough, I think that both of those are good for me. It’s given me cause to evaluate what I’m doing and why.

It all comes down to whether or not I truly believe that I am working on a lifestyle change or if this is just another radical diet change that I have no intention of continuing once I’ve lost some weight. When I first saw the movie Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead and then researched it online, all I could see was the drastic weight loss that people were having. I craved that sort of weight loss. Sitting at my highest weight ever, I was uncomfortable, sluggish, and embarrassed. I was willing to do anything to lose the weight, including drink fruit and veggie juice for 60 days.

The rest is history, as documented by this blog. Within a week of starting, it was apparent that 60 days was not going to be reasonable for our family with the move and all, but 30 days certainly was. Over the last 14 days I’ve been dealing with plenty of emotional fallout from the decision. Surprisingly, I have felt few physical struggles.

I’m not new to liquid diets. In fact, that’s how I lost 80 pounds 8 years ago. So juicing has not been terribly difficult for me physically. My body has actually enjoyed being fueled by juice. After a few days of feeling tired, my energy levels increased and I feel great.

The problems I’ve encountered have been more emotional than physical. Emotionally I am tied to food, and I’m not talking about healthy vegetables. If you’ve been following along and watching the videos you’ll see that Jake has pretty much rocked this fast while I’ve been struggling with all the emotions.

My biggest concern has been not whether or not I could accomplish a 30 day fast, but what I would do afterward. It is terribly difficult for me to wrap my mind around a lifestyle change versus a diet. I’m “all or nothing” remember? My inclination is to fast for 30 days and then be done, go back to the status quo. Back to Red Vines and bacon cheeseburgers. That is where my mind goes whenever I think about finishing the 30 days.

I can’t wait to eat again. But therein lies the problem! I don’t want this to be the status quo. I don’t want to go back to the way it was. The way it was made me fat, tired, and embarrassed. I really, truly want to change my life. I want this to be not a fad diet, but a lifestyle change.

Which is why I’m glad that I’ve stumbled over the two things that normally trip me up and make me quit. I haven’t been dropping a ton of weight and I didn’t stick 100% to the plan yesterday. Any other time, either one of those would have been enough for me to throw in the towel, given me an excuse to not continue.

It would normally look something like this, “Oh, I’m not losing weight. Obviously my body doesn’t like this. All this work for a pound? It’s not worth it. If I’m not going to be losing than I should do something else.” Or something equally as short sided.

I admit to feeling this way earlier this week (yesterday?), but have enough faith in what we are doing to continue on regardless of the weight loss. I’ve come to realize that this isn’t all about losing weight. This is about truly cleansing and rebooting my body and spirit and putting myself on track to achieve the healthy goals I’ve set for myself. I cannot be focused only on the weight or when I don’t lose, I will quit.

The other stumbling block is a little more insidious and sneaky and usually gets me every time. It looks like this: “This one bite won’t hurt anything. Well, I’ve already eaten, I’ve already failed, I might as well just keep eating.

I have to admit that this did trip me up yesterday. My regret is that I didn’t consciously choose what I ate. What I was really craving was a big yummy salad. If I was going to eat, I should have eaten something that would have given me satisfaction. Instead, I snuck a few bites here, a few bites there and felt ashamed, but unable to control myself.

If my focus is sincerely on a lifestyle change, than I have to realize that I’m never going to be perfect. I will have my slip-ups and make mistakes. But the real question is what I will do afterwards. Will I continue to feel like a failure and quit? Or will I pick myself up and keep going? 9 times out of 10 if I can’t be perfect to the diet I’m committed to, I quit. But this is going to be the 1 time I continue going.

I am going to continue getting every time I trip. Every time I make a mistake. This is not about being 100% for 30 days. This is about changing my life and living healthily ever after.

I guess I’m ready to go weigh in now.

3:29 pm

Kristin B. - Amy! You say “only” 2 pounds – but 14 pounds total in 2 weeks is – A-MAZING!!! And to feel good while you’re doing it is infitinitely better! :) And, I don’t know if you’ve gone back and watched your first few videos recently or not, but I can TOTALLY see a difference in both of you. You’re both doing an amazing job! And you continue to be inspiring. :)

Dahlia - Way to go both of you! Amy, in watching this vlog, I noticed that you and Jake are looking younger. I went back to day 1 just to see if I was making it up in my mind, but seriously, you guys are looking great! Perhaps it’s that you are more in control of your body, and that your countenances are reflecting that accomplishment. Just my thoughts… :) Wonderful job, as always, and a little hiccup is alright. You’ve got this, you’re on track and I appreciate your vlogs/posts. Thank you for being a good example.

Stephanie - Amy, you are doing such an awesome job! Don’t look at eating a bite here or there during this fast as a mistake. Look at it as an opportunity to look into why you felt the urge to eat. Were you stressed? Did it just look good? And, it’s ok. =) I’m not on the full juice fast yet…that will start on May 6th, but I have been doing juicing during the first 2/3 of the day then a regular meal for dinner. Yesterday I was outside for a lap-a-thon with my girls from 9:30a.m.-3pm. And it was a little breezy and quite frigid. I had bought juice with me, and had green tea, which quickly chilled (along with my fingers and nose), and at about 1 o’clock, I decided I would have some chilli that was there. I was in turmoil over the decision because I wanted to stick to just juicing during the earlier part of the day, but, I had to tell myself to just deal with it. Each day is a new day, full of opportunities to make good choices, so I can’t beat myself up over it. I too, just like you, am an all or none kind of gal. I think the key to success is balance though for being able to maintain this modified way of life. I have thought after my fast, I will still continue to do 1 or 2 juices a day, with nutritious meals, and an occaisional treat. (Not a daily, entitled, kind of treat.) So anyhow, I just wanted to encourage you. A two pound loss this week is still great, especially on top of the 12 from last week. It’s not all about the number, though I too like to see a dwindling number. (Who doesn’t?) I am working toward my wedding ring as well, so to see you in yours is fantastic inspiration. I’m about 10 pounds or so from getting into it again. My goal is to be there by my birthday in 23 days. I can do it! You’re doing a fantastic job! Don’t let doubt creep in. Keep it up!

Mechelle Bradbury - I’m amazed how you put into words the very things I have struggled with myself! I really struggled these last few days. I was traveling and I really tried to stick to my gluten/dairy/caffeine/soda- free-living, but it was challenging due to the circumstances ( I was traveling with other people and staying with friends, so I had very little control…). I will probably pay for it over the next few days, but I’m looking at it as a learning experience. It was my first real break away since making the dietary changes and it doesn’t feel good at all! I never noticed before how certain foods literally made me feel me sick and uncomfortable afterwards (abdominal pain), I thought it was normal to feel that way after a meal. Crazy, I know! :)

You and Jake are doing awesome, keep up the good work. You’re looking great!!

Kimberly - Way to go! 14 & 16 pound is 2 weeks is great, and you’re half way done!!!!! Yah! Keep up the good work. I love reading and watching your posts. Thanks for sharing with us.

Dani - Amy and Jake, that’s AWESOME!!!! And you didn’t even have to work out 8 hours a day like the ppl on Biggest Loser. lol
I did really good yesterday , then ran out of my frozen strawberries! Today I just didn’t eat all morning, then had quinoa with cauliflower at lunch. Will have salad for dinner. then gonna go shopping to get me some more berries for my smoothies. Thinking about (not doing the 30 day fast), but incorporating juice into my weekly schedule. With the exception of every other Wednesday thru Saturday…I don’t feel well those days, and my mouth and taste buds are way off during that time so nothing but cream of wheat ever really sounds or tastes good. Not my soup, or even a smoothie. It kinda throws things off for me, but I will work around that. I have been all winter.
Keep up the great efforts and your total weight loss is fantastic!
love you all.
Dani

Jessica Kelsch - I cannot tell you how impressed I am. We, too, are less than 2 weeks away from moving, but different scenario here at Kelsch North. While you have embraced juicing REGARDLESS of your circumstances, we are, um, more realistic? Instead of forsaking all the food in my house-both good and bad–my job (as well as the rest of my family) is to be the human garbage disposal for all the food left in the house before we have to throw it out! (Pilots are notoriously cheap, but I would never put Jake in that category…I think he has a good grip on reality…) To be honest, we are juicing for breakfast and sometimes lunch, but dinners are wild! Seeing some weird food pairings here…. I smoked the rest of the salmon last week and will give that away as gifts (have been eating salmon 2X week for the last month…not my favorite anymore), plus much of the pickles and pickled green beans that Doug canned last summer. Mmmm, those are good. Especially in a Bloody Mary. The man has a gift.
Honestly, you both look REALLY GREAT! So great, that I am inspired to pack our Vitamix with us in the truck so that when we do reach Home in North Pole, we can start right away with filling up on good food instead of trash. Why not fill your fridge up with the good stuff when you are starting from empty, instead of the usual junk? I admit, it will be hard to be an Alaskan without the required freezer full of moose (game is still better than grocery store, right?), and I still believe that Alaskan Copper Red (or Silver) is a SuperFood, so won’t skimp there, but am firmly in your camp now. I hope you keep posting on your blog during your move! You will love Florida, and all the opportunities to be Outdoor-active, in a different way than Kodiak. (And of course, there is always the SWIMSUIT thing to think about…)
Love you both, best wishes, and thanks for the inspiration!
Jessica

Stacie - Awesome, Amy!!! Like the 1st poster said, it’s not just 2 lbs, it’s 14!!! In TWO WEEKS!!! That’s amazing! You are doing amazing, & I am honored to continually pray for your lifestyle change!
Complete side note: Many people will never know the experience there, & then coming here. You will talk to people here about the vast differences between Kodiak & Clearwater, but they will never truly get it. I can say this to you with complete understanding of where you’re at now, climatically & emotionally: You will be amazed at just how looking up at the sky (the amazingly BIG, bright, blue sky) will improve your positivity & perspective on everything… including this :)

Amy - Thanks Kristin! You rock!!

Amy - Oh man, you are so so right Stephanie! Thanks for the words of wisdom!!

Amy - I cannot wait!! YAY for sunshine!!

Amy - I think the Alaskan diet of game and fish is as close to ideal as you can get! We’ve so missed having moose since being here. Lots and lots of fish, but not moose. :(

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