I just finished teaching an online photography workshop. They are so much fun and I’m always sad when they are over. It’s early morning, the house is quiet and everyone is still sleeping. I’m waiting for my monthly online book club to start. I feel a little melancholy. Huge changes occurring within our family. I’m trying to wrap my mind around Jacob being done with high school. My baby is growing up. And my baby baby is turning 3 in a month. I’m not ready.
Some days I fantasize about what it will be like when the kids are grown and gone and it’s just Jake and I. I imagine a clean (and quiet) home and date night every night. The ability to fly off on a whim wherever and whenever sounds like bliss. The days I’m dreaming of that, I can’t imagine that it will ever really happen, that the kids will actually grow up and be gone. I feel like I’ll be surrounded by messes and squabbling forever.
But then there are mornings like this morning where I have time to reflect and enjoy peace and quiet and I’m a little sad, because it’s happening too, too quick. Now I want to just surround myself in my family and enjoy every mess, every moment with them. Because it’s going to be gone too soon.
Last night during a conversation that Jacob and I were having, he mentioned that he was feeling a little lost, not quite sure what to do. His schedule has been so busy and his time so structured for so long, that to have free time on his hands feels a little odd. I suggested that now would be a great time for him to strengthen his bonds with his brothers. He and Josh are 4 1/2 years apart and have always been at different places in their life. But the next year before he leaves for college they have the opportunity to really get to know each other. I hope they have grand adventures together.
For those of you just tuning in:
Jake and I are currently doing a 30 Day Juice Fast in order to cleanse or “reboot” our diet and health. We watched the documentary Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead (found on Netflix and Hulu) and started our fast the next day. There’s a tab at the top labeled “Juicing” that will pull up each post we’ve written about juicing since Day 1.
To add to the challenge, we are in the midst of a move. We’re sorting and packing and preparing for a move across the country from Kodiak, Alaska to Clearwater, Florida. Day 30 is the day we leave our island.
Week One I lost 12 pounds and Jake lost 10.6. I have a crazy addiction to sugar and carbs and this blog is where I’m sharing my story as I try to overcome a lifetime of poor eating habits and yo-yo dieting. It’s honest and probably not so pretty. I’d love to hear from you. Your comments and messages make it easier.
Miss B cracks me up. When she doesn’t wear her glasses her eyes cross. She likes to make us laugh by peering at us over her glasses and going cross-eyed on purpose. She a clown. She’s loving her lunches lately which are full of fruits and veggies. She loves grapes. She loves to dip carrots in ranch. I think should would drink ranch dressing if she we’d let her. She also loves hot dogs. I’m going to try turkey dogs and see what she thinks of those.
Weeeellllll… I kinda ate today. I figured I’d spill it here rather than pretend it didn’t happen. But I’m not quitting. I’m continuing on with the fast, but with just a little bump in the road.
What did I eat? Ummm. Some pretzel sticks. Some cheddar cheese. A couple bites of pizza. And some Whopper candies. Not all at the same time. It was more like a bite here, a bite there. But then I was like, awww screw it. I’m just gonna eat.
I’m sorry if I let you down. But ironically I’m not actually feeling too guilty. Maybe because I know I’m not quitting. I just had a hiccup. Tomorrow is a new day.
If I was gonna cheat though, couldn’t I have picked a day that wasn’t the day before weigh-in? Yeah… that wasn’t too well thought out. And I kind of wish I had made a conscious choice to eat rather than just let it choose me. I would have made better choices. Something to think about.
Tune in tomorrow. Jake and I will post our weight loss video in the afternoon/evening after he gets home from work.
No video tonight. Jake is at a work event and I’m heading to bed early.