There is a black hole in my house. It does not attract everything. Just some things. Specific categories of items that disappear and are gone forever.
Like Miss B’s fancy hair clips. (Please see Exhibit “A”) The ones I paid decent money for. I can always find the kind that came in the 12 pack from Target for $1.99. But the other, more expensive clips disappear into that black hole.
And swim goggles. The gravitational pull of the black hole is too intense for the goggles to resist. They simply release their hold on reality and allow themselves to be sucked in. Unfortunately their disappearance will not be discovered until moments before they are desperately needed. It’s a tragedy really. By that time, they will never be found again.
I cannot leave out keys. This is a new occurrence, yet devastating none the less. The metal alloy in the chemical makeup of the keys must be a new attraction to the black hole. An attraction born this summer and bent on devouring all keys within it’s path. We’ve searched and we’ve searched, yet they have simply been swallowed up by that area of space-time with a gravitational field so intense that its escape velocity is equal to or exceeds the speed of light. What hope do they have? There is no saving them.
Of course there is the odd item lost here and there. Like my Bare Escentuals lip gloss. Although, I suspect that may be more Miss B’s doing than the black hole. I expect it to show up, unlike the items the black hole has so completely devoured.
Like my flip flops. The ones I bought on sale at REI when I was in California this summer. The flip flops that my feet dream of. The ugly grey rubber ones that I fell in love with the minute I tried them on. The shoes that massaged my feet with their little nubbies and cradled my toes when I walked. I have searched high and I have searched low. There is no other reasoning. They have been eaten. And I weep. I do not know their brand. They are irreplaceable. Especially for the price I paid. *sob*
I’ve googled and scoured the internet, looking for an answer to my problem. It appears that once a black hole has been created, there is no closing it. I’m doomed to lose expensive hair clips, swimming goggles, and keys of all combinations. And my favorite pair of shoes. NO!! I shall defy that one! I will no longer name a favorite. Perhaps that will trick the devious monster and it will leave my shoes alone.
Am I alone? Or do you have a black hole at your residence?