3 Inspiring Sons…and their Little Sister »

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Skinny Jeans

Jake and I are purging the house; it’s something we must do every few months. We know it’s time when we can’t keep the house straightened for longer than ten minutes at a time. Too much stuff. Stacks of books on the shelves, piles of miscellaneous who knows where it came from on the fridge top, too many clothes to fit smartly in the closet.

We started this morning in the master bedroom. Jake tackled the bathroom, purging old lip gloss and eye makeup remover. Why does the stuff of purges always belong to me?

I faced down my closet.

Under a closet rod jam packed with clothing lay two ginormous boxes.

The Skinny Jeans.

Five years ago I was just finishing a regimented weight loss program overseen by my doctor. Doctor Chapman. Bless that man. I lost eighty pounds. Eight-Zero. 80. I enjoyed nothing better than shopping for clothes in my newly aquired size.

I kept it off for several years. But slowly it started to creep back. The past couple of years I padded a slender version of myself with 40 pounds. And then Miss B joined our family and I added another 10.

Along the way I bought clothes in my newly aquired size{s}, albeit with remorse. And I packed up the fashions that no longer fit. The bright colors of pink, green, and red were replaced with navy blue, black and white. Polka dots and patterns for slimming solids. Clothes to hide in.

My shame kept me from opening those boxes for eighteen months.

But the fear of facing those memories is slipping away as I regain my true self through vigorous workouts and healthier eating practices.

And so this morning while Jake pine-sol-ed the bathroom, I began. First I emptied my closet of those clothes that no longer fit… because they are too big. Or sloppy. Or worn out. The hangers thanked me as they regained some personal space.

I was tempted to close the closet doors and move on. But rather I opened the boxes. Slowly at first. Pulling out jeans, skirts, and cute tops, I smiled rather than cried. I held up a particularly skinny pair of jeans and commented surely my kutukis was never that small. Jake glanced toward the jeans, smiled at the memory and assured me that yes, in fact, my kutukis was that small. He would know.

Rather than packing them back up, I placed them on the top shelf where space had just been made available.

I still have miles to walk, swim and bike before I even attempt trying to fit them over my hips. But rather than hiding, I am now embracing. I’m making progress. I’ve set goals. Watch out skinny jeans. You’ll be put to use yet.

*Lest you think otherwise… my skinny jeans are a size 14.

Just keepin’ it real.

Dahlia - Yay for "new" clothes…that's how I measure if I've been overindulging on junk food: if the jeans fit, I'm OK, if not, I've got some work to do. Way to go Amy on putting them front and center!

loveland9 - Good for you. That is awesome. You'll get there soon enough. Keep at it.

Blog Buddy - My skinny jeans are still hanging in my closet…wish I had the energy to kick some calories! Instead, I'm slowing down and just learning how to enjoy the moment-like you:)

Ben and Megan - I have one dress left from my "skinny" days. I am slowly getting back there and can't wait for it to fit again. I would like to say it was the two babies that put the weight on but with Adelaide I lost weight! Oh well I will get there!!!!

Paris-family - you make me laugh. :) You'll do GREAT!

RC - This post is priceless. Especially the footnote. How I love a honest woman! =)

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